Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Will Apologies Ever Be Enough Again?


Sorry I have been gone so long, my friends. But with my absence, I come with a surprise new look to my blog. I want to thank my friend, Hilybee for helping me to give my blog a new look, and possible a new attitude. She is the most supportive friend in the world and I am lucky to have her as my friend. You should all check out her new blog, too. Right here

It's been a rather rough couple of weeks. I hope that no one holds it against me. I really didn't mean to be gone for weeks.

And this brings me to the reason I have emerged from my slumber

I was walking through the grocery store the other day. There was a woman in front of me trying to corral her son and turn her shopping cart at the same time. Anyone who has ever had children knows that, at times, doing three things at one time is required but not always suggested. This woman was the example that clarified the rule, because she was not succeeding in doing any of the things she was trying to do.

So as she was spinning her cart around, another person was coming up behind her and trying to go around her. No big deal, but the woman with the cart was still turning, completely unaware of the other person. At least until she almost swung her cart right into the other person. She stopped her cart in time and didn't collide with the other person. She was embarrassed. It was obvious. It had obviously been a rough day and she was clearly feeling bad that she had almost knocked the person off her feet. She apologized profusely.

But the other person responded in a way that I didn't expect.

She gave the lady a dirty look and called her a bitch as she walked away.

Unfortunately I see this reaction more and more often, and of course it got me to thinking...

Is an apology every going to be worth anything anymore?

Have we forgotten that we make them every day?

Suddenly we are all judging people by their actions, but judging ourselves by our intentions.

I am no saint. I am not always right. I know you're all shocked, but try to keep your shock tightly in check. I'm not perfect and either are any of us, so what is the problem, world? Why all the animosity? Newsbreak! We're not Mary Queen of Scots!! Geez. We really need to get over ourselves.

Last night, I was watching a show where Alec Baldwin was talking abot what a famous actor said to him. He said that social media and the press was the "end of forgetting."

The End of Forgetting.


The thing is, there are so many offenses and things that have happened to us that we should forget, throw so far away from us we never see it again. "Forgive and forget" was something we learned when we were two, along with "sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me." Both of these phrases have been tossed to the wind like so much dust. We don't throw our offenses away. We throw the very things away that help us to deal with offenses.

But why. Are we so afraid to have to accept an apology? Do we have so much pride that we can't receive it? Please don't try to tell me that you are trying to teach the person a lesson or that they'll know now that what they did is not acceptable. Not accepting an apology makes you look like an ass.

I know that everyone wants to look like a badass, badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog (Sorry Jim Croce. You can stop rolling in your grave now), but for what reason and where does one draw the line? Why do we all have to be so tough, so unwilling to compromise, so unbelievably arrogant, like our world is the only one in existence and we are somehow perfect, in that microcosm.

Maybe I am being too harsh on the world. What do you think? Should we all just continue to take offense, unwilling to accept apology, telling everyone who apologizes that it isn't enough? That the apology wasn't sincere enough?

Or maybe we can all lighten up, and we can quit taking every little thing we do so frickin' seriously.

What do you all think? Let me know in the comments. Maybe I am off base...or maybe I am one hundred percent on base...give it to me people

And I won't be mad if you don't apologize.


  1. People hate each other now. It's terrible! A great example was the man who came into my store today. The store phone also rang at the exact same time. I excused myself after greeting him and took the call like I normally do. The guy got SO MAD that I took the call he started pacing. When I apologized for taking 1 min and 8 sec (exactly) on the phone he said "You should! I've been waiting all damn day!" And then stormed out without even asking his question. LOL I just laughed it off. People are so terrible for no reason. I could tell you so many stories like this and worse.

  2. Well said Hilybee. People are terrible for no reason. It's as if we believe that we are the only ones of any importance in the world. No one thinks of the well being of another. We've become impatient, irreverent, rigid, uncompromising, selfish, egotistical, and UN-understanding.

    On another topic..thanks for your help on my blog. Your a great friend.

  3. When I run into people like that, the callous, mean spirited, and downright crappy people I want to run them over with my car. Then I remember that they could have had the shittiest day of their whole lives and I just happened to have stumbled into it. I've spent 24 hours at someones bedside in a trauma unit and then STILL had to go to Wal-Mart. Granted there are some people who just want to be miserable, but I think that is more rare than we think. I'm a bit more tolerant now though when someone smashes their cart into mine and then look at me like I suck, or when someone cuts me off and takes a better parking spot. Last time that happened I circled round to give this parking cheat a piece of my mind when I saw her struggle to get her daughter out and into her wheelchair. Sorry to be babbling, I guess I think it's less about forgiveness and more about understanding that life is hardly a prize for anyone these days, and we are all in this huge mess together, so it does us well to remember that when we want to call someone obnoxious, rude, or jerks in reality they are probably just sad or overwhelmed.

    1. Interesting comments Jess. Hurting people hurt people. However, as life is not a prize for anyone, maybe we should be more accepting.of an apology. Maybe not...but thanks for your comment. :)

  4. Alec Baldwin is one of my favorite actors, yet I find myself growing weary of his self-righteous apologies every time he flies off the handle. He has insulted gays a couple of times now, yet they let him off the hook. I am not buying his "queen" theory either. (I am straight). And it is NOT Twitter's fault, last time I looked Twitter did not have an app to control your typing. But the most offensive lack of respect or acceptance of an apology is the whole Paula Deen debacle. Woman has been decimated by the press, and her so called business partners, and no one accepted her apology. We have all uttered bad words, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

  5. The Paula Deen thing is something I've been waiting for someone to say something about. I agree with you Barbara. Alec Baldwin gets away with murder. The only reason I bring him up is that he mentioned that and I do agree that we have so much that stays in our face for so long..