The Story About My Stories
"Not Even There"
"Not Even There" began as a challenge for a contest. It was challenge in which the story had to contain the theme of water. Now, anybody who has ever met me knows that, for some reason, I am wired to automatically wonder about the twisted aspects of life. The parts of life that none of us want to talk about have always fascinated me. I wonder about what causes people to do things and act the way that they do. If you give me a challenge, like the theme of carnivals, I will go to the most twisted story of carnivals I can imagine. It's just how I am built.
So, my lovely readers, it should come as no surprise that I wrote about "friendship gone wrong."
However, though this was not cathartic in any way, I wrote about some things that have happened to me. Loneliness is a theme that permeates this story. One of the characters loses his mother and is left with his father, a drunk. When I was 17, my mother was in an accident. Her and my aunt were hit by a drunk-driver. She was in a coma for 3 months, three long months where we weren't sure she was going to make it. She did come back to us, but the brain damage had completely changed her. I never had my mom back again. I'm 46 now. I mean, she was physically there...but not there in any way the person that she was. One minute I had my best friend..my mom, and then in one minute, never again. I was left with a step-father who was an abusive drunk too. I am acquainted with loneliness, though not the way that David, in my story, is acquainted with it.
I also wrote about not being the most popular...not because I didn't have a good personality, but I felt like I didn't exist. I was blown away my senior year when the most popular girl in school wrote me and told me that she wished I would have asked her out. She was serious. still hard for me to believe. Self-esteem is not something that comes easy to me It's not that I didn't want to ask her out (we were friends and she was beautiful), but I just never thought she could be interested in me. I always felt like I was "not even there."
Just add in thoughts about a song by Phil Collins called "In the Air Tonight" and you have the story that I call "Not Even There" If you get a chance to pick it up and give it a read...I hope you enjoy it! Maybe if you drop by my Twitter page and ask me, and you're really nice about it, I might even give you a copy! :)
Thank you for sharing with us what inspired your story!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's my pleasure, Rebecca! I love reading the liner notes in SK's short story collections. Every story comes from somewhere. I just have fun knowing that type of information. Thanks for checking it out!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see that you have used the struggles in your life in a positive way. Thank you for sharing them and the story with us! I know a lot of people that could learn a lot from you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rikki. I didn't mean for the story to be cathartic, but it is one of my favorites and I think the reason why is it contains some things i understand intimately. I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
ReplyDeleteI just read this - didn't realize it was so personal, but that's why it's so good, too. Sad about your mom - I can't even imagine. I'm not good at sharing personal things but occasionally I weave them into stories I write - no one is ever the wiser but it helps me - cheap therapy! LOL Thanks for sharing...
ReplyDeleteHi Sheila! :)
DeleteI have become a wide open book when it comes to feelings. I want to be real with friends. There is nothing good about pretending to have a life that is unlived. "I'm fine" tells me that I am not important enough to reveal how you feel to me. It's okay. The world is not kind to people. However, I would rather have a broken heart and live life, then bottle things up and waste energy throwing walls up. I think that came with age LOL. I just don't have time to pretend to be somebody else. Of course, that makes people uncomfortable, but I have always liked to write about those things we would rather not examine. I am trying to loosen up in my writing and find the emotion in what I am doing.
Thanks for your comments! :)
I didn't realize all of the background that went into this story! The old wisdom is "write what you know", and here it has resulted in a story where the characters are true to life because you know them in a very personal way.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brandon! :)
DeleteI tried to tap into some feelings that we've all had. The beauty was that I had them too. Universal feelings of loneliness and the pain of feeling betrayed, whether it was true betrayal or imagine slight, are common to all of us.
I appreciate your comments.
I'm with everybody else on this one. Had no idea this story came from such an emotional place though I felt it in the story itself.
ReplyDeleteI feel horrible about your mother as well. I won't even pretend to imagine what that must have been like. Lucky for us, you're a strong enough individual that you forged your own path regardless of the pain life threw at you.
I've no doubt you had a "great personality" in high school since you have one now!
I see now why you and I get along so well. I was a "Not Even There" kid in school as well. At least until I was 16 or so and finally broke out of my shell, or began to anyway. The hot girl, the one every guy talks about in high school... she actually asked me out. We had a great relationship, lasted five years but we found we weren't meant to be together.
My wife on the other hand, absolutely perfect match. Especially since she can deal with my crazy writer brains! Often reminds me of the Garth Brooks song, Unanswered Prayers. If you haven't had the chance, you should check it out.
Thanks a bunch for sharing, man. :)
Kirkus.I'm of a firm belief that every feeling in fiction writing comes from some place. So for instance, if the feeling you are looking for is loneliness, this is a universal feeling. Everyone has felt that way at least once. I tap into those many times, but then amplify them for my writing.
DeleteI broke out of a shell at about the same age. However, even after that, I always have felt out of place, not quite belonging anywhere. I still do sometimes. Fortunately my wife loves me. Now I have a place.
Garth Brooks is one of my favorites and the song "Unanswered Prayers" is a good song is a great song to reflect on life with. I'm so glad that something of the things I wished for never happened back in the day!
Thanks for the comments.
*Everyone* should buy Jason's ebook & thereby learn how to tell stories effectively. He's a master craftsman, I feel - not for nothing have I compared his writing to that of Stephen King, an equally sublime storyteller. :)
ReplyDeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteI am a little blown away that you would compare my writing to Stephen King. He is an excellent storyteller. Thank you so much for your compliments on my writing. I hope that I can live up to it! :)
I too did not realize all of the background that was poured into this short story. But now I realize just how you managed to make it so emotional and realistic in so few words.
ReplyDeleteI can't relate to the loss of a parent such as that. But I can definitely relate to the "not even there" part of high school.
I remember the day before I moved back to the US from Germany, the older, hotter guy that me and my friends all crushed on came up to me and told me he wished I had picked up on his flirting or let him know that I like him. It had never crossed my mind that he had been flirting with me at all. I just thought he was being nice (he was nice to everyone lol) because I was one of those shy and quiet who tries to fade into the background. But it did teach me that I should just go for it the next time. Worst thing that can happen is they say no :)
Thanks again for sharing the inspiration for the story!
Hi Kayleigh,
DeleteThanks for commenting!
Yeah..I am really acquainted with the feelings of being too shy and not really feeling like I belong anywhere. As I said before, I still feel that way most of the time. I did go for it a couple of times and got shot down, that gave me the feeling that I didn't belong. So I have had a lot in common with both David and Roger. I remember realizing that I didn't have a chance with anyone for the first time (whether that was true or not) and I remember in my twenties having the same feeling like it was an old friend. Not necessarily a good friend LOL.
However, this story was in no way a way for me to seek some closure on these things. It was just a way for me to tap into some emotion that I understand. I don't feel the same way about some of this as I did before.
Thanks so much for your kind words! :)
You're a brave soul. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to read it, you only need to say the word and I will get it to you. i know you're busy so...if you want just let me know
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for writing this and explaining where it came from. I really identify with the main character. Guess that's why it hit me so hard. It's a really great story, man. I enjoyed it immensely.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing story. Broken hearted, down trodden by the dysfunction of ones family. Self doubt and insecurity is not born but breed. This, sadly, I know first hand, Hats off to you for being a survivor. You mentioned in earlier blogs of the personal nature of this story and the misfortune endured by you and yours. You mentioned that you Mother was still alive, all be it not in the capacity you once knew. I can only assume by the story that she never recovered enough to returned to your home, and I can help but ask; how is she now? I apologize for the morbidity of this question, but the thought of a child losing his Mother strikes accord with me. Perhaps my question is nothing more that a child longing for a happy ending. Thank you for sharing this story.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I didn't write this story to search my feelings. I've been in touch with them for many years. I believe that writing comes from feelings we know.
My mom did come home. She was just never the same. None of us were.
Hi Anonymous,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I didn't write this story to search my feelings. I've been in touch with them for many years. I believe that writing comes from feelings we know.
My mom did come home. She was just never the same. None of us were.