Sunday, March 17, 2013

Drama: It's Not Just For TV Anymore

Having been on social media for a while, I have met a whole ton of cool people. I mean really cool. People that I wouldn't mind going to dinner with...ya know? Hanging out with. But I have also met a ton of people who seem to only want to create drama, like the remnant actors of some foregone soap opera.

 Facebook and the Restless.

Are we seeing the end of civility because of social media? Are people becoming more emboldened to be rude to each other online because they can get away with it? I mean, after all, we are just a bunch of digital data being transmitted back and forth when we're online. We are not a physical human being who can get punched in the face for calling someone an idiot. We could get away with it and not have to deal with the consequences. We can create all of the drama we want and not have to worry about it at all.

But should we?

Are we being encouraged to create drama?

As an example, have you noticed, on Facebook, that you can hit a "like" button if you like something, but there is no "dislike" button. It would be no big deal to me if I put a status up and someone hit "dislike." It would mean nothing to me. I wouldn't know why they disliked it. No big deal. But instead, the only way that we can let someone know that we dislike something is by commenting. Words, once out there can never be taken back. I wrote about this already, last year, here.   
So the fact that the only way we can say we don't like something on Facebook is by not "liking" it, or by commenting, is a sure-fired way to create drama.

It's almost a recipe for it.

Commenting gets people attention.

Anonymity has made us callous. Not everyone, but it happens more and more often. Perhaps these people were already out there, hiding behind a mask of civility. Maybe when they got home, before FB and Twitter existed, they would plop down on their beds and scream obscenities into their pillows.

Social media has opened my eyes. There are many people out there that have no platform for their thoughts. Some of these people have difficulty with controlling their emotions. Some of these people want other people to hurt just like they are. Some of these people want to watch other people squirm. Heck it's no different than it was when I was in junior high. The only differences is that now these people have a world-wide platform to spew their drama into.

I suppose, in the end, the responsibility we take on, with social media, is to give some thought to what we are posting into the world. Not just popping off at the mouth. We have a responsibility to be civil to each other, whether those around us are being civil or not. If we don't like drama, we need to do our best not to perpetuate it by letting that conversation continue. I know we all feel we have to have the last word, that includes me. Especially me. But is it really all that important?

So that I am not such a Debbie Downer about everything, I would love to give you a list of peeps to connect with on FB and Twitter that are fantastic folks. I love them...No drama in the lot of them :)

@Hilybee                                                 @AliciaASheehy
@JulieFrayn                                             @TyrKieran
@SheilaPierson                                        @DevriWalls
@KirkusMacGowan                                 @KayTheAuthor
@KristenLambTX                                    @A_Soul_Wanders
@thesmboyce                                           @littlelamb
@velveteclipse                                         @UNhasbeentaken1
@BrandonRLuffman                                @zhoniu
@vaempires                                              @JaseR75
@judithdavis4                                          @seanpfarley
@cjlistro                                                   @inkmuse
@jessfortunato                                         @RachelintheOC


Chuck Wendig
Novel d'Tales (Hilybee)
Cara Brookins
Wenona Hulsey
Jess Lourey
Melanie Gottlieb
Rebecca Henderson Campbell
Andre Hirsch Todorovich
 Marti Sharp (My wife.)

Excellent people without a dramatic bone in their bodies...okay, well some of them have a touch of the dramatic, but they don't tend to call people names and hate everything, so they have that going for them. :)

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think about this topic. Has it always been this way? Is social media just bringing out those who are braver to say what is on their mind? Let me know what you think.


  1. Thanks for listing me among the "drama-free crowd! :-D

    You're right that people think there are no consequences for being a jerk online. But, there certainly are. People like that will find, eventually, that their friends list is shrinking, that they're blocked by more and more people, and so on, until they have only a handful of similar people that no one wants to interact with.

    I've always been very careful in how I interact with people online. There are some places where certain topics are taboo for me. I don't like to talk about politics or religion on any of my public feeds, for example. There's no value added to anyone's day by me diving into something controversial. If I want to discuss these topics, I confine it to my personal accounts, which are only seen and interacted with by a limited group of people who I know and who know me.

    However, in an effort to avoid drama, I have gone so far as to preemptively block people who I didn't know at all. In fact, I've blocked people on Twitter, for example, who I wasn't following and who were not following me. I did so because someday I might run across a particularly virulent message from them (retweeted by someone I DO follow, for instance) that will catch me when I'm already having a bad day, resulting in me making a response.

    That response is what they feed on. They are, after all, largely trolls.

    Better to just cut them out entirely. LOL!

    1. Hey Brandon!

      I believe that everything is okay to talk about, provided you are not the one calling names, but just giving your opinion. Problems come in when people, who can't control their emotions, resort to name-calling and other things just because there is a comment button. I will say whatever I want on my feeds and my blog. I believe in being authentic and I don't worry about putting something on my blog that others might not like. I don't think that commenting, in general, is a bad thing. I just think that people go a little too far and lambast people for having a differing opinion. I know that you know what I mean on this.
      I do not respond to people on my Twitter feed who are not following me or that I have not followed. In addition, I block things that I do not want to see on my feed.
      You are right. Juts cut them out before it gets crazy! LOL

      Thanks for responding!

  2. Just like I was dm which I should never answered, I told the truth I get cussed out because I don't blog and don't know about tech too much I just wanted try to be social boy I was wrong on that more cussing said I should't be on twitter as you can see it's on selling not being social. I came back aren't you supposed to be social to sell. More cussing so I unfollowed and blocked. Read your book by the way Not Even There enjoyed it very much Thank you for the story I paid for it like anybody else would Im not too crazy on taking free anything it feels like I still have to owe.

    1. Thanks for buying my story, Not Even There, Anonymous.I'm glad you enjoyed it. Being social is extremely important on social media. I enjoy talking to everyone. Sometimes, I don't understand how people think about this. You are doing good by being social, Anonymous. Just do your thing and don't worry about the haters.

      Thanks for commenting! :)

  3. Just stumbled on your blog and agree that it can get crazy out there! A sense of humor helps.