Man wouldn’t life be cooler if it was just a giant Dungeons
and Dragons game…yes, I used to play. No, I don’t regret it. No, you may not
make fun of me…and that means you *points finger into the darkness* You heard
me!
It would go something like this:
LifeMaster (after all, it’s life and not a
dungeon…supposedly): You are awakened from your unnatural sleep by two
hellhounds!
Me: Is it four in the morning?
LM: No, it’s 3:50am.
Me: Those aren’t hellhounds, though they like to breathe on
me like they are. Frickin’ dogs! I pull my +3 leash of obedience from my pack.
LM: You lost that when you’re buddy borrowed it…remember the
concubines?
Me: Oops! *turns red* I remember…I still have my unending
bag of treats…
LM: Nope, your wife gave them the last one.
Me: I give up!
Later in the day…
LM: You are trapped in the cubicle of despair, and you can
hear the troll director just outside…
Me: I’m going to stay chained in my cubicle. Are the chains
solid, holding me in my cube?
LM: *Rolls dice* As you pull on it to check, it snaps and
the end flies out of the cubicle, just missing the troll, but hits your manager
instead. And of course, the troll is your manager’s boss…
Me: Great…
LM: They fire you from the job, and put a Cardboard Box of
Emptiness on your desk…
Me: They can’t fire me! I’m wearing my Button-Down Dress
Shirt of Impeccable Work Ethic
LM: Their immune to work ethic *shakes his head in
disappointment* They’re managers.
Me: I give up!
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